naz poetry spot
I still… still today…
Still can’t say… still can’t tell… Yet I still… still today…
Let my heart surrender to your gravity…
My stomach feels these lowly depths of poverty…
My sad eyes… Sees only the saddest visions…
My mind slowly lingers on thoughts… of deepness depressing me…
Feeling so tired but still so… lonely sleepless…
Touching my hand to my face…
Feeling the fever on my dry… dry skin…
Placing fingers in my hair… trying get a grip…
Dying to imagine… then… you rip through me…
Letting in the simple things, I miss most…
Your taste still lingers in my mouth…
Tried so hard not to feel… tried to be strong…
I still try so hard, biting down… so hard, not to feel it…
You still live in me… alive on the tip of my tongue…
Wish I could feel my tongue…
My tongue lives, yet heavy and strained to… a taste…
The illusion of your taste… this ghost of you,
my saliva plays host to…
Wanting for the moments that lay vibrating your moisture…
Your slippery depths… yes that sweetness.
Still thirst, still hunger…
Tracing my fingers over my lips…
Feeling the fever on my dry… dry skin…
Trying to imagine… us face to face then…
I swallow to fill the hunger, but I feel no stronger…
I fold to my knees…
I pray and line my stomach with clay…
May this hold for a day, the mold of you.
When I imagine you here… now…
My tongue forgets what language it speaks…
My lips forgets what speech to say…
Still letting my heart surrender to your gravity…
Still my stomach feels these lowly depths of poverty…
I still get… sad eyes… seeing only the saddest visions…
ones of you walking away…
Leaving me lonely…
Still hope to see you someday… If I could, what would I say?
I would make it today… If I could… facing you again…
where it began…
Could I see this morning’s smile?
Just to let you know… things I wished you knew…
Touching your lips… The taste still slowly lingers… still today…
I still know how to cry… I still know how to laugh…
I still know how to wet you…
I still know how to love you… still today…
Still know of depressing deepness, just never knowing,
just how to let go.
Still… “Happiness…” I still know just how to fake it.
Still standing where you left me…
So, if you see me… smile today… You still… don’t see me at all…
Still today…
-Naz
12-21-00
