poetry:// god without me...

everyday...
I keep telling myself...
I am so close!
somedays I forget who I am.
You are an artist...
does it matter to be me?
I forget the name of the mountain I climb.
Higher and Higher you must go! the voice tells me...
the rocks are sharp and brittle under my foot...
stepping stones slide and glide beneath me...
I climb a path with an old comical cosmic joke
this slipping on a banana peel... in an endless loop
everyday I tumble so far down this mountain
feeling damn sure I will never reach the top... but I climb!

My backbone hits to floor again... HARD!
I keep falling and tripping all over myself...
Confused, Shaken, and Tired!
My bones ache... why do I climb?
This is my frustrations of being painter without a canvas...
My mind explodes with visions of dreams to create.
I have no tools to bring them life... I cry I can't share these dreams of mines It now hurts badly to dream... a chronic endless pain.
I surrender my body to Insomnia nightly.
My nappy frizzled tired hair wages war against the softness of my pillow.
My hand combs my fingers through, then a frustrated tug my sleep is defeated.
It's in my head. I AM SO CLOSE!
voices say no one cares about your art
I know my art is of the soul...
not sharing it has become something toxic... but I climb!

I fight myself everyday... why am I an Artist?
I am an artist because I wish to speak
I'm a painter because I believe I am... Of God, who creates all.
We are all Brushes, God's tools to paint this Earth... I must be me...
I must do my part... I must keep climbing... till there's nothing left...
an artist without a canvas is a voiceless one... I must share my art.
God without me is a god without a brush to paint this World.
Me without God is an artist without vision.
My right eye went blind not long ago, my path is shaken... but I climb!

I am so close! I keep climbing, for when my voice is finally heard
IT WILL SHATTER THIS MOUNTAIN!
till there's nothing left.
I will never have to worry of falling again.
I will rock the tides... and touch every shore.
Sleep walkers will wake and the sleepless will finally dream
So I keep telling myself... Everyday.
I believe... and I still fall daily... but I must climb!
Believe in yourself...